Thursday, June 8, 2017

Should You Watch This? Blair Witch (2016)


Did you ever wonder if you could trust those rating sites on their reviews of movies? I mean all those strangers can’t know if you’re gonna like a movie! Leave it to just one stranger... me. I’m gonna tell you whether or not you should watch movies (there will be spoilers). Let’s go.

Movie Name: Blair Witch

Year: 2016



Genre: Horror

Main Character(s): The “normal American teen” couple, the Black couple, and the stoner couple a.k.a. boilerplate teens 1-6. Notably absent; anyone from Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000).

Notable Cast Members: None that I know of.

One Line-ish Plot Summary: The younger brother of Heather from the original Blair Witch Project goes looking for her in the very forest in which she disappeared many years previous and meets the same fate.

Best Character: The drone that flies into a tree to get away from the teens.

Worst Character: They are all terrible.

Best Moment: I think the best part was when they all died.

Plot Twists: It was a very predictable film.

How was the ending? Expected and filled with jump scares. The filmmakers could have been way more creative.

Does the main character live to the end? No.

Sequels/prequels? This was the over-hyped, sub-par sequel to The Blair Witch Project (1999). But there is also the rushed 2000 sequel, in title but not truly in style or content, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2. Funnily enough this new 2016 Blair Witch movie kind of bridges the gap between the original Blair Witch and Book of Shadows by incorporating the wibbly-wobbly, time-windey stuff from Book of Shadows into the point of view documentary style of the original Blair Witch film.

Is this a good movie? No. This movie is very irritating and I only finished it so that I could write this review.

Why watch this movie? It was at Redbox and I was curious.

Like this movie? NO

Should you watch this movie? Not unless you just want to see what the filmmakers do in their attempt to continue the Blair Witch story or you enjoy being annoyed.

Where you can watch this movie (as of this posting)? Check your local Redbox and all VOD platforms.

Final Thoughts: The best way I can describe this film in one word would be lazy. The writing was lazy, the filmmaking was lazy, and the acting was lazy. They had an opportunity to make a really interesting film and instead they leaned on cardboard characters, clich├ęd storytelling and unimaginative “twists”. If you want to watch something creepy that has to do with time jumps, just watch the Dr. Who episode "Blink". That’ll give you the Heebie-jeebies and make you think.

Favorite Screenshot: This is from Dr. Who. Watch that instead.





About the Author

Kayla is the web mistress of digitalkayla.com as well as an elusive internet rabble rouser. When she’s not watching horror movies, she can be found listening to original Broadway cast recordings, and hanging around the St. Louis metropolitan area. You can follow her antics on social media (@digitalkayla)
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